6 Signs You are the Toxic One in Your Relationship

Are you to blame?

I feel like Carrie Bradshaw right about now. Typing away on my laptop, sitting next to a large window (minus the cigarette in my hand) ready to write about love. More specifically toxic love.

I have been in a fair few relationships, toxic relationships to be exact, where to my surprise I was the cause. Relationships are never a one way street but wholeheartedly, I admit it. I was the one who ran all of my relationships to the ground. I will share some of my past toxic traits to hopefully help someone recognise their own toxic behaviours or to even recognise them in their partner.

#1. Being overly jealous

This one takes place as number the most common toxic trait. It can be disguised behind good intentions but if taken too far ,which in a lot of cases it is. It is a relationship destroyer. Your partner doesn’t belong to you and they are allowed to have their life, just as much as you are allowed to have yours.

#2. Causing an argument for no reason

Sometimes, after you have been with someone for a while or maybe not, things can feel quite dull. Let me tell you, causing an argument is no way to bring some spice to the relationship. I think some of us are used to the chaos, used to pain and when things start going our way, we like to self sabotage and go back to what is comfortable.

#3. Not being truthful about how you feel

Communication is key. Communication is everything. You cannot expect your partner to read your mind. You have to communicate clearly what you want. If you say one thing and mean another, don’t except your partner to do the opposite. It only causes arguments.

#4. Not including them into your life

If you have met their mother, sister, best friend from school and their dog. But they have never even met one of your friends, there is something not right there. You should ask yourself…Why don’t I want them to get to know any of the people in my circle?

#5. Not listening to your partner

As much as communication is the key, so is listening to your partner and making sure you understand what they want or at least trying to understand.

#6. Challenging your relationship

I have left the best (worst) one till last. Challenging your relationship by breaking up with the person or cancelling plans to see if they will ‘fight’ for you. I am not proud of this.

In conclusion:

We all have our quarks and some odd traits and relationships are not all roses, in fact they take a lot of work and patience. After working on my myself for a while and realising how truly horrible I was at times, it made me feel ashamed. But it also made me realise that you have to love yourself and look after yourself fist before you are able to love anyone else.

// Rosie //

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