Yugen and Mono No Aware in My English Class

The Japanese concept of “Yugen” says beauty is not only found in the things seen, but unseen. “Mono No Aware” says beauty comes from appreciation and close observation of the world around us. How perfect are these two concepts for summarizing what we did this year?! They’re wonderful! For every assignment this year, I always kept Mr. Coffeen, Mr. Godin, and Mr. Ziebarth’s message of going beyond the obvious and creating something new through combining the ideas of others with our own unique approach close to me. However, I only succeeded some of the time! And that’s okay!

Every time I sat down and started to write something in order to find those surprises in writing, I always sweat bullets. Whether it was a practice DBQ for APUSH or a rhetorical analysis essay, I attempted to force myself in to thinking about something new, but that was extremely physically and mentally tough. Mono No Aware doesn’t mean forcing myself to stare into something and push myself into seeing its beauty, but allowing the close observation of something to instill an emotion within me and appreciating what it is. Why was I coercing myself to go through all of this to just write an essay about something? When I stopped to answer that question, I discovered an interesting phenomenon. Each time I was put under a specific time limit to write an essay, I did a lot better. When we wrote a rhetorical analysis essay about Elizabeth Barret Browning’s letter to Napoleon III, I was forced to let go of that meticulous overthinking and I just wrote what I saw. I received a ton of positive feedback and high scores when we handed our essays to our peers! When I was practicing for the APUSH exam and I wrote a practice essay, I only gave myself forty minutes and when I turned it in, my APUSH teacher said I answered the prompt wonderfully! Under these time limits, I was able to let go of my mental restraints. Who knew forcing myself to achieve something would make my other unhealthy forcing go away?!

I decided to reflect about how these restraints and conformity somehow stimulated my creative thinking processes. When I was given time to do something bigger with so much information, I ended up forcing myself to feel like I had done nothing with all my resources. Every time I was able to write as much as I pleased, I constantly came back to add more or “touch it up” when in reality, I was slowly drifting away from what I was supposed to write about. The time restraints allowed me to let go of that meticulous thinking and embrace what I had done with what I had. It’s like playing a game of Tetris! You build up rows of blocks and conserve a single space for the I-block, but as the blocks continue to fall faster, you don’t use that I-block. You keep thinking that you have time and need to build more until you lose the game because you felt like you needed to do more. Whenever I was given an assignment that was open ended, I kept trying to build it up without realizing that I had done enough and it was time for me to send it in.

I do miss that feeling of accomplishment from high school. I’ve build bad habits with how I process ideas from school, but it feels equally amazing to break those habits in school. Over my high school years, I’ve tried to be more concise and specific with how I write, but I always fall back on old habits. I’m very glad that I was able to find the root to these issues this year and work on them even more! I’ve finally accepted that I’ve built my blocks high enough and I’m ready to cash in that I-block to get a sweet Tetris.

It feels amazing to write this reflection! I found another piece in order to become a better student and learner in life. I apply these principles not only to school, but to my daily life. Each time I bike, I stare up at the sky and see how beautiful it is while I listen to the natural sounds of the world. Whenever there’s complete silence in nature, you really get to hone in on how beautiful everything is and you get to appreciate the small things that are usually overlooked. We try so hard to be what we’re not sometimes, but if we take some time to appreciate the silence in life, we give ourselves room to reflect. When we reflect, we learn. When we learn, we grow.

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